First, I am not sure if it is "an" opossum or "a" opossum. I teach English and should know these things but I am more obsessed with there, their and they're. But that is not the point. I hit a Opossum once. I was in high school on the way to meet some friends. It was a Friday night, in the early Spring I think and I was driving down a side street in my small town in Tennessee. The thing ran right under my wheel, I swear! There was nothing I could do to prevent it. At least that is what I have spent the last 18 or so years telling myself. That is a long time to dwell on the death of a opossum. But it wasn't so much about the death that bothered me. I was more upset about the babies that were now without their mom or the mom that was back in the burrow waiting on the dad to bring home food (too many Disney movies). It was more of a mourning of the impact my carelessness had on the life, or demise of the opossum. This was solely my fault.
Which brings me to my point, parenting.
I know, the death of a opossum and raising children couldn't possibly have anything in common, but you are wrong. I have 2 children, a wonderful, supportive husband and I live a middle class comfy life. I don't do without and honestly besides the occasional vacation to the Caribbean there is not much else I want. But I do want my kids to be the best people they can be. I want them to thrive and change lives and be happy. And that puts a world of responsibility on my shoulders. It's there, I know it, because they hurt all the time. I'm a tough parent. I will admit that. My girls don't get away with much and sometimes I worry they fear me more than respect me. The thought of them looking up at me with tear soaked eyes waiting for my reaction to a mistake they have made as I try to calmly and rationally put my words together when all I can think about is my juice stained couch, scares me to death. My actions or lack there of in this moment could impact the rest of their lives. I imagine them on their future therapist's couch speaking of time outs and ipad restrictions. The ramifications of this one event could impact their lives forever.
This is all my fault!
No, actually it's not. Just like how I chose to go out with friends that night and I chose to take that side street. But I had no idea that opossum was planning a suicide mission. You can't predict the future.
My husband and I both constantly worry if we are making the correct decisions. If we are raising our kids so they can be the best people they can be. And honesty, I don't know. But what I do know is that we have a background of life experiences, solid educations, and a strong love for our children with a willing desire to see them succeed that is unmatched to anything. Even college was easier then parenting and that took me 7 years to accomplish!
I often find myself talking to other young moms that feel that every decision they make, every word they speak, every slice of processed frozen pizza they shove into their child's mouth will have a profound effect on the outcome. And all I can say is this, Do the best you can. Don't make too many careless mistakes. Take the main highway sometimes even though the side street has a pretty view and less traffic. None of us know if what we are doing is correct, we are just doing the best we can with what we know.
Take it all day by day, breathe and remember opossums have a wild streak and a penchant for curiosity. All of them!
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