Want to go to the White House Egg Roll? Here is what you need to know!

The White House Easter Egg roll is a long standing tradition which dates back to 1878 under the Administration of President Rutherford B. Hayes. The Easter Egg Roll is an annual event, and is held on the White House South Lawn each Easter Monday for children (age 13 and younger) and their parents. The Egg Roll is a race, where children push an egg through the grass with a long-handled spoon. The idea began and continued as a way for the public to see their president as accessible and inviting families to the lawn to play games and be entertained became a yearly tradition having only been cancelled due to heavy rain or war.

Tickets to the event are FREE and the way families score the hottest ticket in D.C has changed over the years. In the beginning local school children in the area where given the tickets, then military families were included and most recently they held a ticket pick up day and 1 parent would stand in line for hours to pick up tickets for the family. A few years ago Recreation.gov began holding a lottery and this is currently the way tickets are distributed. This allows families from across America the chance to attend the event.

Getting There: https://www.recreation.gov/

The Recreation. gov website holds an annual lottery. This will open early February and is only open a couple of days so you have to mark your calendars and check back.

There is no charge for entering the lottery.

Only one application per household may be submitted. All other applications will be voided without notice.

Ensure that your account contact information is correct and current. Your email address will be used for lottery and ticket communications. 

Once it closes you are no longer able to enter the lottery. This year winners were announced through email on March 2. They also send an email to the losers and that is the one I got! We did not get tickets through the lottery and according to their website over half a million people enter for tickets each year and around 35,000 are chosen. A lady spoke with my husband during the egg roll about her eight years of tries for tickets only to be selected for the first time this year. She also wasn't a President Trump fan and was disappointed by the entire event. I will write about this in a minute.

We got tickets through our Congressman's office. If you really want to go this is probably your best shot if you know someone! His office was given 4 tickets only and we got all 4! This was primarily due to the fact that A.we knew someone that works closely with the congressman and B. I am a public school teacher and it was my daughter's 8th birthday.

 Some years they get more, some years they don't get any and they aren't aware of this until about a week prior to the event. So unlike the lottery system which gives you a month to plan your trip, this method means you will need to be  flexible and you will need to book a hotel and plan quickly.

The Event: There are several time slots to which you will be given tickets, you can't choose this. We were in Group D which was 2:30-4:30. Group A began at 6:30 AM and the last group, Group E began at 4:30 when we were leaving. From what I have read on other sites the worst groups are the first and last time slot only because the media isn't there so you won't get any presidential sightings or any big name readers at the reading nook. The best slots are Group B or C. This was when the majority and the A list cabinet members came out including President Trump and Melania.

You are encouraged to get into line up to 2 hours before your time. It was 41 degrees on April 2 and to someone from the south, it was almost unbearable! But we waited and waited and did jumps to stay warm. We arrived around 12:30 and were in the 2nd line of about 9 roped off areas. You wait there until time to take you through security. They check bags and scan your tickets. The place is packed with volunteers who are extremely friendly and helpful. There will be people everywhere trying to help you. It was very nice! Once through security, you are directed to another line and will wait about another 30 minutes. This line has a DJ and the kids dance and the excitement builds. Finally at exactly 2:30 they will begin letting you in. Your group may contain upwards of 3,000 people. This is why you want to arrive early. So when your time slot opens you are in and can have your full 2 hours! If you are late or at the end of a line of 3,000 people you will lose time! Because once your time ends, you have to leave. I have read other blogs of people not knowing this fact and only having 45 minutes or so at the egg roll!

Once you get in everything is beautiful! You are right next to the white house! You can see the sniper's eyes on the roof you are SO CLOSE! There are so many things to do! You will run dragging your child from station to station because its a race against the clock and if you got in early there are NO lines for about the first 20 minutes! That is when we did the egg hunt and egg roll which are both the most popular. Also playing tennis on the president's courts was crowded and we waited in line for that the longest but only about 20 minutes. There is live music and again volunteers everywhere. You don't have to take selfies cause several of them are at every photo op asking if you want them to take the photo for you. The grass is gorgeous! Its like Easter basket grass. It looks fake its so pretty and it feels like carpet. Enjoy the grass!

The event is also live streamed so be sure and share the link with family and friends. When my children were being read to by Betsty DeVos I texted my parents to pull up the reading nook camera and they could watch!

The entire event is so surreal. You want to stop and breathe and take it all in. Its the quickest 2 hours of your life and at this point we had been outside in 41 degrees for almost 4 hours but we didn't even notice.

The attire varies. Some people were wearing heels, others in blue jeans. We had bought new dresses for our girls but once we saw the weather report they were covered up by jackets, hats, and gloves! They have a station with drinks and snacks if you need something but they won't let you bring any food or drinks in. In fact, we just brought our tickets and camera or phones. My girls wanted to bring their baskets for the egg hunt but they have their own for the kids to use. We ended up needing to use them anyway to hold all the stuff we were given. Some people brought strollers but they ended up just being in the way. I would not bring a stroller in.

We left about 15 minutes prior to the end of our session. I had read that trying to shovel 3,000 people out of 1 narrow exit takes a long time! On your way out you are again greeted with lots of volunteers thanking you for coming. People at this event are seriously nice and helpful, it was better then Disney!

The kids are given a goody bag. It contained an egg dying kit, candy, an egg recipe book (this event is hosted by America's egg farmers) and a wooden commemorative keepsake egg. They loved the goody bag!

Now back to my point about the lady that wasn't happy with the event. The families in line with us were Trump supporters. You could tell many people were attending just hoping for a chance to meet or see the president or first lady. I really believe this will affect your experience. I saw "Make America Great Again" hats and t-shirts everywhere! People were getting pictures made in front of the white house wearing their Trump gear. I would imagine that when Obama was president or Bush or whoever, that the people attending were overwhelmingly supporters. So if you are not a fan, I would say wait and go when a president you support is in office. Otherwise the fanfare is going to drive you crazy. For 30,000 total people to wait in line for up to 5 hours in 41 degree weather for this event, you would have to think they are supporters and the people I encountered were BIG fans. Its just something to keep in mind.

Overall I would do this again in a second! My children had a blast and it was a memory we will hold special forever! At the end of the day we were cold and tired but still so excited and grateful for this experience. 





BOO! Parenting. Scared yet?

I know people personally and through other folks who tell me they know people avoiding parenthood. These people aren't trying to decide if they want to have kids. They know they do. They are in healthy, loving seemingly wonderful relationships, so why wouldn't they just start their families. Just do it, so to speak.


Here's why. They take this whole, I am responsible for another life very serious, and they should. They don't want to screw up, they don't want to change the good thing they have now with freedom and fun and travel and career goals. They are happy now and yes kids would be great but they tell you, they just aren't ready. And kids, that just seems stressful and overwhelming.


Its frustrating to us on the other end of parenthood. We did it. We survived. It made us crazy but we are still here. We can offer advice and free babysitting. We can't wait to hold their little one. We have picked out the name for them. So why, why won't they just get on the Cheetos, spilled milk, soccer practice bandwagon?


Because we live in an environment of judgment and of my opinion matters. And its stressing young couples out! We live in a world of constant scrutiny and being an ant under a magnifying glass is only fun for the person holding the magnifier. It's every man for himself nowadays and we aren't very supportive of our fellow parents. Its a club that people sometimes find themselves apart of without the memory of signing up. And others who find themselves hazed. It's not for the faint of heart and it takes guts and courage but its not impossible and yes, if now is the perfect time then you should join us. Not all of us think we know best. In fact, if we are truly being honest, none of us knows what we are doing. And yes you can do this without caring what others think!




When I had my first child, I was on social media but at that time it was more, 'look at my vacation pictures.' It wasn't how it is today with the sharing of articles and opinions and comments due to safety in numbers. By the time I had my second child I didn't even participate in social media because I found it time consuming and didn't see much of a purpose. I can't imagine what this must be like today to have a new baby and open your Facebook news feed. Articles are out there and they are looking for you. To pop up on your feed on a day that has already been particularly terrible. Articles that tell you to breastfeed or your kids will die and never be on the same reading level as their peers. Personal response pieces letting you know that having pets is impossible with kids and all good parents take them to the pound during pregnancy. Opinion pieces on vaccination.  Everyone has an idea and everyone wants you to know they are correct and did what is correct and that YOU are incorrect if you don't take their advice and shall I say, heed their warning.



Of course, you are terrified. Of course you feel that 1 mistake will ruin your future child and this will be a direct reflection on your parenting. You should feel this way, you have had lots and I mean lots of negative, opinionated information thrown into your face.  So allow me to offer a refreshing alternative today. Not something that will solidify your decision, but maybe something to make it not seem SO scary.


I have read those articles too. I have seen the comments and I too have felt like maybe those parents are better and have it all together and those kids will be amazing and what I am doing is all wrong. So I get it, I really do. But guess what- I don't know what I am doing. Ever. And my kids are okay.
I breathe a lot and I close my eyes tight and I cry in my car sometimes because my child had a melt down at the store and I got 'those' looks from strangers. NOTE: You will know the look very soon if you decide to join us.  I read parenting books and implement strategies for about 2 days, then I forget. My kids have worn shoes too small and had accidents without a change of clothes. Yes, the school will send them home wearing clothes that once belonged to the opposite sex. I feed them McDonalds and take them to county fairs. They pet animals at the zoo and don't always wash their hands before eating funnel cake. I forget the sunscreen and make them share 1 towel that I packed for myself that I found on the floor.  They have messy rooms and long toenails and if there is mud or chocolate within 20 yards they will find it right before we need to leave the house for a public event.


And the parents of these two kids, don't even get me started. They stay up way too late and have poor eating habits. They never say the right thing. They drink wine and let curse words slip.
 BUT they love each other and their kids more than anything on this planet. And they say it all the time and they make time for family movie nights and microwave popcorn and people tell these parents how amazing their children are and they can't believe it because they don't feel like they do anything right, ever.
But yet, these kids are amazing. They are good people and they are funny and they care about others and they are the best people their parents know. So how did this happen when they aren't feeding them grass fed organic whole grain extra veggie vegan spaghetti while listening to Mozart,  reading Shakespeare and breastfeeding until they are 12? Um..because they are humans and humans are resilient and created to survive and thrive. And your kids will be okay too.


You will just know what to do.


I can't write it on a blog post or argue with someone I have never met in Nevada on Facebook about this topic but I can tell you that somehow, like magic you will just know the answer. You will know your child and you will know what works for your family and you will be just as good at this as all the rest of us are..not. But don't let complete strangers that claim they are perfect because they do A, B and C convince you that you can't do this or persuade you from missing the most exciting, fun and unbelievable life experience. Besides isn't social medial for sharing the highlights and not the low nights.


 Take it from me, a person writing a blog that knows nothing of your life or situation. A person that jumped off a cliff hoping for best and expecting the worse. A person that laughs at those posts that try to make me feel like a sub par parent because my proof that I am doing okay is in the faces of my children who are happy and better that I imagined. A person who people pull aside to remark that my children are awesome and want to know what I am doing. To which I reply, "I don't really know, I forgot to feed them breakfast. So maybe that's it?"

The day my daugher told me I wasn't fun.

You know those questions you ask sometimes that you really DON'T want to know the answer to.  You just ask because you are having a conversation and you think you know the answer but you aren't prepared for how much its going to hurt to hear the answer.


Those questions are bad questions. Don't ask them.


Because one day the answer is going to destroy everything you thought you knew.
This is about the day my daughter told me I wasn't fun.


If you know me in real life, you know I am a lot of fun. I am all about fun. Its like my reason for being on this planet. If I am not making you laugh then I am not enjoying myself. I am not being myself.


But to my first born, the one that made me a mommy, I am not fun.


We were laying in her bedroom talking as I was trying to get her to fall asleep. Coming back from winter break is hard and as a parent that practices in the art of lazy parenting during break, its extremely hard for our family to recover. It was about 10PM at night. I know, I cringe that I just confessed that to you and can feel your judgments already but let's be real. It was 10PM on a school night when she destroyed my mental mom the of year award.


Sometimes we play different games like I tell her a crazy made up story about sisters who can poop magic and make people disappear, like off the wall weird stories and she loves it. Sometime we lay in bed asking questions about life, the future, when she was little, etc.


So one night I asked "What can mommy be doing better?"


I tell my kids all the time that I have NO idea what I am doing. Even more shocking then realizing there was no Santa Clause was my realization as a young teen that the adults in my life had no clue what they were doing. I thought they had it all figured out and one day when I turned 18 I would instantly know all the secrets of the world and everything would make sense and I would just know how to handle life. But now I am 38 and that day still hasn't happened.
So I am really honest with both kids and I tell them I don't know what I am doing and I am just doing what I think is right and best.


Her response hit me and I felt tears swell into my eyes and I immediately regretted asking her.
"You're not very fun." She said.


I wanted to lash out, FUN! FUN! That is what I could be doing better?

 I was voted wittiest in high school. Co-workers tell me I am their comic relief. My husband married me 97% because I was fun. The other 3% just had to do with the fact that I was single.
FUN! FUN!


I couldn't believe it.


I got myself together and took a deep breath. "Okay, Can you explain that better for mom?"


"Sure," she said so proud that she has just admitted something to me that has probably been on her mind for a while which again made me want to burst into tears.


"Like, you never just play with me. You don't play legos or Barbies or just ask me if I want to play something with you."


WOW. She is right. I am not fun. Not to a 6 year old. My 6 year old self would be so ashamed that I live in a house with all these toys and I never touch them except to pick them up off the floor, silently curse under my breath then place them onto a shelf.


So.I am playing in my head what my response to her will be. Here is what I wanted to say:


"Do you know what I do around here? I am in charge of groceries and cooking and cleaning and laundry and I am the logistics and transportation specialist. I make sure you are clean and fed and clothed and you have a jacket on for the 20 seconds you are outside. I wash your sheets and clean your bathroom including dried toothpaste on the mirror. I make dinner then make another dinner for your sister that refuses to eat. I work a full time job. I take care of the pets and make sure they have food and water and schedule their haircuts and schedule your haircut and forget about when I need a hair cut. I step on those legos you speak of then shout out in pain and pick them up because no one else is going to. I fold towels and hang up backpacks and check homework and notes from teachers and keep the message board up to date about when I need to send cupcakes and what days I have to travel for work and if I have time I try to shower and brush my own teeth.
 So tell me, who has time for FUN?


But I didn't say that. I didn't say any of it.


I am not a martyr and I never want to be seen as one. This parenting gig is the most important aspect of my entire being and I love it. I love it so much.


But most of the time I find myself feeling behind and never able to catch up. I can spend an entire Saturday cleaning out bedrooms only to see them destroyed and unorganized again in 3 days. I am tired. And sitting on the couch next to my husband in the evenings zoning out to mindless TV, that is my hallelujah moment. That is what gets me through a lot of days.


While some people go to their inner happy place of beaches and mountain cabins, I go to my couch, next to my husband, zoning out.


So here is what I said instead:


" I know. And I am sorry. I will do better."


I said this because it needed to be said. I was quickly reminded of the times I have been asked to play with her and my response is always, " I will in a minute."
And if I do sit down for 2 minutes to play I am never in the moment. I am in my head. I am thinking that I need to get up and change out the laundry. I am thinking that the counter looks gross and if I could just jump up for 20 seconds and wipe it off or that I haven' t gotten the mail today.


 I am always somewhere else.


Then I get a sign, a small smack in the head to bring me back, like a picture of  one of my daughters when she was 2 will fall out of a book and I will think, how is she so big now? When did this happen?


And I will try and remember what my life was like back then. And do you know what I remember?


I remember feeling worried that the carpets looked dirty.
 I remember rushing to the store, baby in tow to grab more milk and how frustrating it was to plan that trip at a time when she wouldn't' be tired and irritable so I could get that small task complete.
 I remember trying to clean the kitchen and hoping the teething ring would keep her happy so I could get some work done.


I don't remember playing. I don't remember fun. I remember tasks.


And that is what I will one day remember about the time when she was 7 or 10 or 12. The tasks, the chores, the lists in my head.


And one day she will shout "Bye mom, I am going out, be home later."
Instead of shouting, "Mom, come play legos with me."
And I will have a clean house because I have kids that don't play with legos anymore or Barbies or need a giant doll house that takes up half my wall in my living room.


So this is what I am going to do. I am going to play with my kids. I am not going to jump up to fold towels or sweep the kitchen. And its going to be really hard and its going to take me some time to get this right. And I am going to forgive myself for the times I am going to fail and  I am going to try to push those tasks out of my mind and just play.


Just be 6 again. 6... when I was fun and other kids thought I was too.

You've got the right stuff, baby

Christmas season. It is fully upon us as is the rush and hustle and bustle of shoppers. I said to my niece on Black Friday that if police officers are spending their shifts at Wal- Mart we have failed as a society. It's all about the stuff even after we just realized how lucky and thankful we are.


Recently I read an article describing a new parenting trend(boy, I hate those) in which parents are now writing letters from Santa to their kids apologizing for not bringing the exact item the kid requested. This is to harbor any disappointment I assume.  The stuff is just too important.


I will not be writing any letters from Santa.


A few days ago my husband and I spent Saturday apart. He played golf with his dad and the girls and I had a fun day out and about after being at home for 3 days during Thanksgiving break. When we met back up at the end of a long day my husband said to me, " I realized something about you today that I have never thought of before." I of course am now blushing because even at a golf outing my hubby still thinks about me. He continued, "Experiences mean so much to you, way more than they mean to me. That is what makes you happy." Lord, I love this man.
And he was right.  I haven't thought about it all that much but with the holidays approaching I began to think of that more. I don't recall what I got for Christmas each year during my childhood. Not even the years there was one BIG must have item and somehow Santa was able to bring it for me. Not even then.


Here is what I do remember.
I remember the screen poach of our old house and when my mom would turn off all the lights except the ones on the Christmas tree and the room glowed. I remember when my dad would come home from work and say, "Who wants an ice cream?" And we piled into the car for Dairy Queen. I remember the smell of my grandmother's house and I can still taste her chicken and dumplings that she made just for me only because I requested it. I remember living in New Orleans and the sounds of music and the laughter of tourist that filled the air. I remember eating beignets and trying Café Du Monde coffee for the first time.  I remember mardi gras parades and the taste of King cake. I remember playing baseball in the back yard of our new house in Tennessee and the first friends I made at Highland Rim Elementary. I remember finding weird bugs in the backyard. I remember when my mom would send cupcakes to school for my birthday and my dad would pick me up instead of having to ride the bus one day.


THAT is what I remember about my childhood. Those adventures that made childhood magical and warm. Those experiences that made me feel special and loved and valued. I don't remember the stuff.

And my kids won't recall the stuff either.


They will remember mom coming to their school to help with a party. They will remember their first flight and the car rides to Tennessee. They will remember the time we forgot bathing suites but went swimming anyway. They will remember mom reading to them and chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. They will remember walks around the neighborhood and the sound of dad's laugh. Those are the things they will take with them into adulthood while the stuff fills my attic. Those are the things that will bring a smile to their face one day when they are driving to work reminiscing about being 6 again.


This year Santa is brining toys and candy, I am not completely bought out yet. But he is also bringing a zoo membership  and other experiences that offer a chance to make the memories for my children that a 'must have' toy never will.

When enough is enough

In the kitchen making no bake cookies and smiling because its a recipe from my grandmother and I feel like she is with me. I know how to make casseroles with cream of 'anything' I can find on the shelves. I love when my house smells clean. Thanksgiving dinner is my super bowl.


And I often ask at what point did enough stop being enough?

And you know the thing about feeling like its enough is simple- self acceptance. I'm not trying to convince you that the way I live my life is the way you should or even that you have to accept me. Because here is the truth- I accept me. And when people accept themselves its easy to ignore what society tells you should be or how you should live. And its even easier when you accept yourself to NOT get so caught up on how people will judge you, like you or not like you.


So I don't have an acceptance agenda to cram down your throat.
But what I do want you to know is that when enough becomes your enough, it's okay.

I don't want to run a company. I don't. I don't care if I get to buy expensive purses or drive a fancy car or have people in a corporate world admire me. I just want to make you a sweet potato casserole.
I want to have a surprise cupcake waiting for my kids after their first day of school. I want to clean my floors and buy candles. I want to put together trick or treat bags and create holiday wreaths. I  want to be the CEO of my family.


One of the most influential people in my life was my grandmother. She didn't make a ton of money, write novels or invent anything. She was never admired for her collections of jewelry or her large home. She worked a few different jobs to help support her family and she never had a driver's license yet she was admired by me and almost every one who met her. She was admired for her sense of personal ownership that she took to ensure the care for her family was done by her. She always wanted to feed you. Her house smelled of cinnamon and cabbage. Of spaghetti and casseroles baking in her wall oven. And her home, well it was spotless. She read scriptures aloud and prayed.  She took great pride in her home and in her cooking and in her caring for those she most cared about.


My grandfather had a stroke early in life and it prevented his mobility, it affected his speech and at times it made him angry. She loved and she cared and she cleaned and she loved some more. She closed her eyes when she laughed and she kept dirty dish rags hanging from her shoulder. She not only accepted her life as mother, wife, grandmother, sister and friend, she loved it. She watched you eat and waited for you to tell her it was good. She asked what your "order" was as soon as you entered her home then she spent the next 45 minutes completing it and serving it and cleaning up afterwards.


 If we were happy, she was happy. Enough was enough.

The greatest thing that came from feminism is that whatever life a woman chooses to live is her choice. I get to cook for my family and make cookies on nights when our favorite show is on. I decorate Christmas trees and would be mortified if you saw under my couch (which probably needs to be cleaned again) I like the smell of Tide on my kids clothes and the feel of my husbands ties as I lay them across the bed. I want my kids to grow up and know that their mom's life was enough. It was more than enough.


Do I complain about my workload, having to balance life and work and kids? Sure, of course I do. But the truth is even in those complaints, I wouldn't change anything. THIS life. THIS balance of being a mom and wife a daughter and sister a friend and teacher- THIS is enough.


So the next time you come to my house and you notice the fresh cut flowers on the table or you ask for my cookie recipe please know that to me, its like you offered me a promotion. It's the single best gift I can be given to know that you think I melted the marshmallows just right on the sweet potato casserole and that my kids were the best behaved at the slumber party. Those things, those simple every day words are a direct result of me living a life I only once dreamed about while sitting in my grandmother's kitchen watching her make chicken and dumplings and thinking about how she was more than enough.






Granny's PB chocolate no bake cookies

2 cups sugar

1/2 cup milk

1 stick (8 tablespoons)  butter

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats

1 cup smooth peanut butter

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

Bring the sugar, milk, butter and cocoa to a boil in a medium saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally, then let boil for 1 minute. Remove from the heat. Add the oats, peanut butter, vanilla and salt, and stir to combine
Drop teaspoonfuls of the mixture onto the prepared baking sheet, and let sit at room temperature until cooled and hardened, about 30 minutes.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

We survived! I sent my first born into the clenches of school and she came out fine. I however, did not. I complained. I whined. I didn't like anything. Before it ever started I hated it. I cried in my kitchen, I cried in my bathroom, I cried when I dropped her off the first day. Then after these longs 9 months had passed I realized in June that all I really needed to know about parenting I learned in Kindergarten.


1. Share everything. Even your children. Share them with their teachers, other children and even school admin and librarians and art teachers. Share them so other people get to enjoy the person you have put forth so much effort and raised in such a way that these people, these professionals that studied education get to tell you, "Good job" and get to love your kids as you do.


2. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. I had these a lot this past year. On days when Mattie came home and told me she didn't eat lunch because it was gross but I was too busy that morning to pack her lunch so it was my fault I had a starving 5 year old at 3pm. Also nachos with lots of processed cheese and jalapeños are good for you as well as wine, beer and tequila. They are all good for you in large quantities during Kindergarten year!


3. Live a balanced life - learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some. Everything is good in balance.  Some days she came home beaming about how awesome her day was and some days no one noticed her art work or she was kicked. Try not to focus on all the bad. The bad is going to happen. Focus on what was really good during kindergarten and forget what didn't go the way you had planned for your child, trust me they never notice the bad. And you get to teach them how to deal when the bad does come along. Everyday will not be perfect and you are going to have to deal with that.


4.  Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. You have a front row seat to the growth of your child and if you are lucky you had teachers that supported and loved that growth and told you over and over and over. THAT is what makes it okay in the end. THAT is how you will survive.


5. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK." Look at the child you have today, after Kindergarten has completed. Look at how they have grown and developed and be sure to not only look but to listen. Listen to their thoughts and desires because most likely they know more about what they want then you do. You will start to see a real live person, not your baby. A person with ideas and thoughts and opinions and if you are lucky they share or sometimes scream their opinions and you as their parent should be so proud of the growth you have SEEN.

This year Mattie came home and told me of stories that she helped kids in her class. She told me of compliments she received and awards that were coming. She celebrated best friends and reading accomplishments and she developed a bond with her teacher that is unlike her bond with me. And that is okay. She doesn't need me to shelter her and protect her or save her. She is doing just fine on her own and that is all we really want as parents. So that one day, one day when we are not there to hold her hand or stop her from walking in front of a car she will know what to do, instantly. She will just know because she has been given the tools to succeed and sometimes those tools come from her mom and dad and sometimes they don't and its the don't that made Kindergarten so incredibly special.

Here is to hoping your don'ts go as good as mine did and that in June at the end of your special butterfly's Kindergarten year you too will embrace all that has been learned, not by your child, but by you the parent and that letting go is hard and holding on is impossible but all you really needed to know about parenting you learned in Kindergarten!


*Citation: Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten

I took the TV out of my kid's bedroom and here is what happened

I am guilty of it. I need a break in the evening, a chance to unwind and just be. Sitting on the couch next to my husband, glass of wine in hand, no kids, watching a mindless show. This was my favorite part of the day. Every day. So I get it, I really do. There is no shame in having a TV in your kids bedroom. My oldest is 6 and we put one in her room around age 3 against our pediatricians recommendation. We did it anyway. And it was amazing! Quite evenings, kids entertained. Time to relax!


Then one day just out of blue I was cleaning out my kids rooms, while they were away of course because otherwise you aren't allowed to get rid of anything. "Mom, I need that empty juice bottle." And it dawned on me. What would happen if I take the TV out? Will my life tail spin into deep despair and regret? Will my husband and I never have a quite evening moment again? OR will it be the best thing I have done as a parent? And I can always put it back if it turns out to be a disaster.
So I took the TV out of my daughter's bedroom.


I gave up my dining room (again) and gave my kids their playroom back. I have a love/ hate relationship with the playroom but its also 1 room I have to keep tidy and not 2 bedrooms + a hallway. Its the lesser of the evils.
When the kids returned home, I shared the good news first. "You're getting your playroom back!" They were overwhelmed with excitement which quickly turned to sadness once they noticed the TV in the playroom. "But you put the TV in here too mom."
This quickly turned into lots of questions from my 6 and 4 year old. "Why did you take out the TV?" "What are we supposed to do at night?" "Can we not watch movies anymore?" "WHY??"
"Well," I responded. "We are going to read books each night before you go to bed." I could've easily said, " because I am selling you on the black market," and I would've gotten the same response. DEVASTATION.


Now, my kids LOVE books, they love to read with us, when they want to. They love the library and often will ask for books as gifts. But switching out the TV to listen to their mother read to them was too much of a compromise. I knew ahead of time I was going to be met with resistance so I was prepared and I busted out the big guns- Roald Dahl.


One of my closest friends gave my oldest daughter an entire collection of Roald Dahl books for her birthday one year and often we would take one down from the shelf and toy with reading it, but without pictures it didn't go over well. However, since the point is to get them to go to sleep, I don't want them trying hard to stay awake to see pictures and I knew this was going to take a long time to adjust and I needed about 200 pages of words just in case. We started with Charlie and the Chocolate factory.


The first couple of nights were rough. I regretted this decision. It took forever for them to fall asleep. I became thirsty an hot and agitated while lying in bed with 2 very wide awake little girls. When I finished reading, my husband had already gone to bed most nights. Sometimes it was after 10pm. But I stuck with it. I was determined to make this work. I am a big supporter of research and I knew this was going to be better for my kids and better for my family. Honestly if a new study was published stating that chewing glass would make smarter kids I would be in the kitchen breaking dishware rather than writing this blog.


We began an entirely new bedtime routine. Dad brushes teeth, everyone says goodnight then the girls and I lay in my oldest daughter's bed for story time. I keep a bright nightlight near me to see the words and we snuggle and I read and I read and sometimes I read for almost an hour. And eventually they fall asleep. In a marine type operation I slowly creep out from under the blanket and walk ever so softly across the floor. Once I am free and the bedroom door is closed, its like I escaped Alcatraz. After a few days I already noticed changes in my kids behavior. We seemed to be closer and their morning attitude was so much better. They were getting more rest and I was feeling really good about this decision.


Day after day and night after night, I kept reading. We finally got a golden ticket. We got to meet Mr Wonka. We learned that awful children get their just desserts. We learned that grateful children get rewarded. We learned that the oompa- loompa songs are extremely long in the book. We cheered when Charlie was given the factory. And we celebrated when we read our very first big book together. We watched the movie as a family and ate popcorn.  We have inside jokes now. My kids will say, "Mom that reminds me of something Willy Wonka would say." We are looking in every store possible for Wonka bars. My kids have loved spending this time with me.


And my favorite part of the day has been exchanged for snuggles and hugs and listening to the adventures of Charlie Bucket.

From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

Shout out to never being perfect!

It recently dawned on me how much of my happiness is dependent on how much I am okay with me. Whenever I am mad or upset with me, I am unhappy. It's like when you get a promotion, you are happy because you take complete credit for such an accomplishment. That happened because YOU made it happen and you can feel good about you.


But what about those times when you don't feel like you measure up and never will. How do we fix that? Do you just continue to strive at being better? Making more money? Driving a better car or living in a better house?

Maybe you, like me focus a lot on being a better parent, like the best parent. And nothing you do will ever be good enough. You read articles about good parenting habits, you try to get your kids in bed at 7:30pm- yes success! I am enough! Well, maybe not, because they got back up at 10:00 and you watched Scooby-doo until midnight. Fail! Maybe you wish you had better hair or a better figure. No matter what you wish for or what you want to change its never going to be enough and it will never make you happy, because you will always find another fault.


 I have been on this planet almost 38 years. And 1 thing I have learned is ME. I know all about me and I think once we embrace who we ARE TODAY we can be okay with it and stop trying to be everything we can't measure up to.


So this dear friends is for us. For those of us who finally need to be happy just being who we are.


1. I am never going to be athletic. I have tried. It's not in me. The most athletic thing I can do is run. It's like walking but faster and I've been doing that since I was 2 so I have that down. I don't have to be athletic, its not a big deal and I get a lot of pleasure from long walks and short runs followed my multiple dry heaving.


2. I am never going to have a filter- I say inappropriate things all the time. I don't take the time to process what I am going to say, my brain doesn't work that way. I make jokes at funerals because I am uncomfortable and I make one liner jokes to strangers that barely know me and don't think I am funny. I have to just embrace this about myself and hope I never get sucker punched.


3. I am never going to be the perfect mother- Ouch, this one hurts and its the one I am currently dealing with most. I can't remember to check their clipboards each day. I cleaned the house last week and found a bag Mattie was supposed to send a potato in 4 days earlier. I forget to brush their teeth in a rush and I feed them Ramen noodles when I don't want to cook. Hopefully when they are older they will still love me and want to spend time with me and if they don't then see rule 8.




4. I am never going to be good at laundry- I hate it. I hate it so much. I don't' know how to iron and we have clean clothes that I have no intention of ever folding and putting away. I don't  think we even have enough hangers for all these clothes. My sister is very good at this one and she can't understand my hatred. She irons undershirts...UNDERSHIRTS!


5. I am never going to enjoy doing my hair- I don't think I have had a 'hairstyle' my entire life. My hair is straight. That's it. I hate to wash it cause it takes forever to dry. I would go weeks without washing if my husband didn't remind me by referring to me to "Stay Golden, Pony Boy." I love the cute girls on magazines and TV that have that perfect curled long hair. That will never be me and if it doesn't act right, I will be forced to cut it all off.


6. I am never going to stop biting my nails- Its an anxiety thing. I have done if for years. I can't stop now. My nails will never be pretty. I bought the stuff the tastes terrible to stop my habit.. I didn't' mind the taste. I spent money to get the fake ones, I bit those off too. Scruffy nail nubs is the life for me and I have to deal with it.


7. I will never be good at being an adult- I fear responsibility. I can't make hard decisions.  I want to be Peter Pan forever. Its not fair to those that love me. I am sorry. But I am also a lot of fun so I feel its a good trade off to all concerned.




8. I will always enjoy a good stiff drink- There is something comfy about a glass of whiskey or warming about a glass of wine. I have tried to exercise instead or go for a walk. I took a long bath or wrote in a journal. Once I went almost an entire afternoon without it. Just kidding, it was like 2 weeks. By then I had forgotten why I was trying to quit. I don't smoke so cut me a break.


9 I will never enjoy reading- I don't enjoy this. I am envious of people that take a good book to the beach and get lost in it. Yes, I majored in English lit and I read a lot. But I read classics and I deciphered the language. I enjoy reading short autobiographies or how to build a sailboat manuscripts. I would rather read about the history of Wal- Mart than any best seller on the market. I just can't. Like my friend Chad Shrader used to say, "If its good, they will make a movie."


10.I will never be able to leave the south- I have left before and I hated it. I am southern through and through. I love the people here, the laid back atmosphere and of course the food. Our culture is one that is mocked and ridiculed and I get it. But its me and I love it and I am not making the mistake of leaving again. I am envious of people that live in NYC or other countries. That must be so amazing. But  I am the crazy that people joke we bring out on the porch and flaunt around cause we don't try to hide our crazy in the south. And although this is a part of me I can't change. I wouldn't' change it even if I knew how.




Be okay with you today. Embrace the good and bad the nevers and always. Because at the end of the day we have no one to measure ourselves to. No one to hold the standard of a normal, perfect human  being. Just keep on being you cause I think you are pretty great at it!

Churches are full of hypocrites

I wasn't raised in a traditional household that made me get up on Sundays and attend church. I wasn't taught bible stories and I didn't recite scripture.  We began attending regularly later around the time I was a teenager but I was forced and didn't really enjoy it. I didn't get anything out of it and back then as a teenager, it was of course all about me. Plus I felt that churches were full of hypocrites, at least that is what everyone said.


According to Merriam-Webster a hypocrite is a person who claims or pretends to have certain beliefs about what is right but who behaves in a way that disagrees with those beliefs.


During my college years and beyond I would attend a church every now and then. I sat in the back, listened to what the preacher had to say and agreed with some of it and disagreed with some of it. I may go back or I may not. It didn't matter.




 I didn't have a very good foundation of religion and being able to make up my mind as a adult meant I never had to make up my mind- this is why I take my kids to church now.


 But why in the world would I attend church? It's full of people that are fake and think they are better than everyone. Like there is some secret that they have figured out when really they are just drinking the Kool-Aid.


If you have ever said, "Churches are full of hypocrites." You are correct. It is.


Have you ever been thirsty? I mean thirsty like you just ran 10 miles and feel as if you don't have something to drink you might die? People that attend church are thirsty. Their souls are needy and their sprits are broken. They are so thirsty they have fallen to their knees and wept because they don't know how to handle their addiction anymore. They are so thirsty they have had to pull over on the side of the road because the tears in their eyes are too much to drive.


Church is full of people that are adulterers and addicts and alcoholics. People that judge and swear and made messes of their lives.
If they were perfect, they wouldn't need to go to church.


Their souls are dehydrated. And one day they walked into a church and sat in the back quietly and listened to what they preacher had to say. Some of it made sense and some of it was strange. When it was over a few people shook their hand and said please come back. So the next Sunday when this person was just a little less thirsty and spent their week wondering about what that preacher was talking about, they got dressed and went back to church. They sat quietly in the back and listened to the preacher. When it was over a few more people came by to say hello and told them to please come back. And they did. This is the beginning of a persons spiritual journey. A small step to the back pew of church.


They still had addiction, money problems, or martial issues. Those things didn't just go away. But they kept going to church on Sunday and drinking the kool-aid or Grace-orade as I like to call it, and it began to quench their thirst. They still had problems, they still weren't perfect but they still kept sitting on the back pew each Sunday and listening.


You don't have to be perfect to attend church. You just have to go. Your spiritual journey is just like any other. You learn and grow and it takes time to develop trust and relationships but it will happen. You just have to keep going and trying to be more like Jesus.Those are big shoes to fill. But the good news is nobody expects you to fill His shoes, just keep going and keep trying and learning and asking questions.


If you have walked into a church and felt judged and alone and you hated it and left, I am sorry. This is not how all churches are and that is a poor example of a Christian church family. Remember when you were 15 and you had that boyfriend that was so awesome and then one day he disappointed you and you decided you hated him forever? Well you didn't stop looking for a better one. That one had its own issues and wasn't for you but that doesn't mean there isn't the perfect one out there for you.

So for those of you that so freely judge church goers that make the decision to give their lives to the Lord and become Christians but don't act like it in every aspects of their lives I say, "Shame on you."


We all need grace and forgiveness which is where the source of our thirst comes from. We need to fall to our knees and say, if there is anything out there greater than me, then please help me. I am a liar, a cheater, a judge of others, an addict. I don't know how to stop.


I often behave in a way that disagrees with my beliefs and with things church is trying to teach me, so I keep learning. I keep going back. I give myself a break and remember that I am not perfect but I am trying. You just have to try.


To  that  old man in your neighborhood that yells at the kids to stay off his driveway but attends church each Sunday or your uncle that was addicted to drugs for years and wasn't there for his kids and now attends church on Sunday or to you whoever  you are out there and wherever you are in your spiritual journey just know you a probably a hypocrite because people can't see you today, how you are NOW and people can't see how hard you are trying. Plus some  people have a hard time letting go of their miserable company so you have to be okay with being called names or its going to cripple your relationship with the Lord.


Because what people can't see is what they don't know. They don't know that the old man in your neighborhood lost his son and never recovered. He never asked for help or grieved and when his wife died soon after he became bitter and angry and he is trying to do better now. You don't know that your uncle has an enormous guilt ghost from his younger years that follows him each day and tells him what a screw up he was and how many lives he has messed up and that he will never be enough. So he goes to church to try and repent for a little bit of his shame.


You are NEVER going to live the life of a perfect Christian and you will never keep people from calling you names. But what you have to know is that God doesn't care about any of that. He only cares about YOUR heart.


 I think people worry too much about what others think of them. Stop doing this.


  You can't sacrifice your eternal salvation and a wonderful relationship with God because you worry how others will react, treat you, say about you. Doesn't that seem so silly?


For those of you that feel you don't need God and you don't need church, I say to you how amazing it must feel to be able to do life alone. To never be thirsty. To have your soul so filled up by whatever earthly things you have purchased that you don't need any of this. To be so perfect.


So the next time your Aunt Gladys pulls you aside at the family reunion to talk about Jesus when all you wanted to do was get some more kool-aid, sit with her and listen. Forget about the mistakes she has made and continues to make because she is trying every time she goes back on Sunday. She has witnessed first hand how trying and listening can change your soul and heal your spirit. She isn't a perfect Christian. She may not even be a very good Christian but she wants to be. And what she needs is your support and not your judgments. So  instead of cutting her off to grab a cup of Kool-Aid, listen to her and believe what she is telling you and you may find yourself enjoying a cup of the grace-orade instead.


Alison Wright is a member of  a small church of believers in Coronaca, SC. They put up with her bad jokes and loud laughter and let her teach music during VBS even though she always forgets the dance moves. She quietly sits next to Mr. Pinson three rows from the back and listens to what the preacher has to say. She has never been more hydrated.

High school was so totally stupid

I have a reunion coming up next year. 20 years. 20. I often wonder if I blacked out. Have I been present. How did this all happen? It doesn't feel like 20 years since I walked the halls of my high school. It doesn't feel like 20 years since hanging out at McDonalds was the coolest thing to do. Wow, what happened and what will it be like to see those people again?
I have to admit I am a little nervous. Not because I am worried that I don't feel successful enough, attractive enough ,etc. I am all those things already so that's not a worry (sarcasm)
But what about how they feel about ME. What about their memories of who I was 20 years ago. I am not that person anymore and can only assume neither are they.

I was a clown in school. I know that seems impossible if you know me now (sarcasm) but really, I was. I didn't care about academics or grades or my future for that matter. I wanted to hang out. I wanted to be with my friends and have fun and live that life forever. My life was parties and fun and sleep and if I had the chance to do it over, I would have never done that and spent every waking hour with my grandparents (but that's another blog post). I never wanted anything to change and I cried at my graduation. I actually cried. I was having the most fun ever and now I had to leave that and my friends and go 'do something with my life.' I was lost and confused and scared. And yet, as adults, we expect so much out of 18 year olds  now. Strange, huh?

Remember those aptitude tests. Remember those? You answer all these questions then it tells you what you should be when you grow up. Mine said bus driver. Yep, drive a bus Alison, we have high hopes for you, kid. We had to meet with our counselors one on one and she said, "Have you applied to any jobs yet Alison, college probably isn't for you, based on your history." At 18 I had sealed my fate. A bus driver without a college degree. The future was so bright I had to wear shades.

Remember your permanent record, I am hoping my counselor shows up to hand those out at the reunion and I can show her my college degree. Anything you ever did would go on your permanent record, including the time I missed so much school my senior year I almost failed due to truancy. All of that and more is somewhere out there on a record, right?  So with this record floating around, how do we ever move on? 

People are going to remember you and have opinions of you. They may remember the fun stuff, the bad stuff or nothing at all. But whatever they remember, that is your permanent record, so in a way I guess it really does exists.

A few weeks ago I was teaching children's church and we discussed Daniel and his life and how his reputation was so important. The kids threw out ideas like, "yeah, this one kid in my class always gets in trouble, he's a troublemaker." I said, "will you always remember that or can he change your opinion." They responded, "oh he will always be a troublemaker."
I wanted them to understand that every decision you make, everyday, will follow you forever. You were always building your reputation or tearing it down and how people feel or think  about you is the result of your everyday actions. You were always building your permanent record and you were just a kid. At a time in your life when the point is to make mistakes and bad choices, you were being held accountable and judged for the remainder of your life. People will never forget.

It won't matter at your reunion if you are a brain surgeon or if you married a celebrity because when you were 17 you slipped on the wet bleachers at the football game and fell down 7 steps. People are going to remember the fall. And they will bring it up over and over. It was added to your permanent record. This is why I think people have anxiety about seeing their old friends. They are different people today and they want people to know them for the way they are now, not at 17. But is it possible to forgo our permanent records?

Well, maybe.

I left home when I was 21. I moved off to attend college and only retuned home occasionally. I rarely ever saw my friends anymore and most of my time at home was spent with family since I was only in town for a long weekend. People that knew me then and know me now basically know me now by my social media. I still don't see or spend time with my classmates when I visit my hometown. I may run into someone and we do the friendly, "Its been forever, how are you?" But its surface and I try my best to portray a person different from who I was at 18. Because the truth is none of us knew who we were at 18. It defines your life, your personality, who you are to the world in 4 short brief years of chaos and confusion and trying to fit in and figure out who you are and how to not become a bus driver (not that there is anything wrong with that)

I missed my 10 year reunion because I legitimately had plans that couldn't be changed. I was scheduled to give a speech at the camp I had spent 5 summers as a counselor. For years after I would see people randomly when I was visiting home and they would say, "I can' t believe you didn't come to the reunion." In a way I felt like I missed out and I wanted to make sure I made the next one.
So, I am going. I am excited and I honestly can't wait to see my old friends.

 My permanent record? Well, that is for them to decide. For me, I can't wait to be re-introduced to the people I use to share so much fun with. I can't wait to meet them today, talk about our glory days and remember how high school was so totally stupid.

Why you forever need your girlfriends

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is hard. And busy. And sometimes mundane. I have always heard people say that once you have children your life will pass you by. This is true. Each day runs into the next. You muddle, you laugh when you can and you pray Friday will get here quickly. You love your family and your husband. Your kids drive you crazy but you can't imagine life without them and they are the best part of your best self. You keep up with people on Facebook or Instagram. You consider them friends because as adults how much time do we really have to spend with anyone? So you make excuses. You tell yourself things like, "I can't drive 2 hours to meet you for dinner, I am a mom now." OR " Yes, we should get together, let's do that soon." The last one you say just to be left alone. You nor the person you are speaking to have any intention of following up on that plan. We all do this. And it's awful. It's wrong. And our time with those we love and never see passes each day and we don't do anything about it. We need our friends NOW more than ever.

I have awesome friends. I do not take this for granted. I have friends that allow me to do really stupid stuff then forgive me and move on. I have friends that watch me do really stupid stuff and laugh with me. I have friends that will be my friends forever. This is a relationship that I do not take likely. It's one of the most important relationships you will have in your adult life. Your friends know you unlike anyone else. Call your friends. Don't just like their status on Facebook. Make plans. Show up. Be there. Laugh. Relax. Be you.

We all need that comfort zone where we can say what we need and have someone who listens, understands and explains what you should do next. When we have the toddler meltdown and we think we are the only moms that this has ever happened to, our friends can say, "Yeah, been there." When we have that situation at work with the weird lady that obviously hates everyone including you, we can tell our friends all about it. We laugh, we make fun of you and by the end you think, "Screw that lady at work, I have awesome friends!" It's a de stressor to have a close relationship with your friends, to get away and get your head straight. To make everything right with the world again. You can tell them any and everything. They relate, they advise, then they tell you how stupid you are being and that you need to get it together. Next, they will pour their selves the last glass of wine when no one is looking.

THEY ARE GREAT PEOPLE.

It's hard to be a mom and a wife and an employee. You feel pulled in so many different directions and its easy to lose your footing. We all need those people to stand us back up again and tell us "Hey I like you, you're awesome!" I feel this way each time I drive away from my spending time with my friends. We all met in one city but have since scattered which makes getting together more difficult, but we just never give up. We don't have the fake "yeah, I will call you, we should get together." We say this then 24 hours later you get invited to a random event on Facebook that involves everyone you love. You quickly grab a calendar then count the days. You remind each other every week how long it will be until you see each other again. Its a connection and bond like no other...

and its one of the most important and underrated aspects of adult hood.

Finding someone that gets you and loves you anyway is like finding that cashew in the mixed nuts jar. You are so excited you found it that you devour it while savoring each moment. Because there are always plenty of peanuts in the jar, but Cashews are rare.

Salty coffee and melted crayons

I think its really difficult to try and live in the moment when you have children. I often catch myself glancing at my husband across a pan of frozen lasagna and think how awesome it will be one day when the kids are grown and just he and I will be able to date again and focus on our lives. We will go to Paris and Hawaii and sleep in on Saturdays. I will let dishes pile up in the sink and make PJs my official uniform (okay, it already is).

Somedays being a parent is like being stuck in purgatory. You know you had a past, you can't really remember what it was like but at the same time you have no idea what the future holds. It's filled with days of pouring salt into your coffee because someone was playing on the counter and finding crayon has melted all over your dryer because someone had them in pockets. You just know you are ready to move beyond this. You are ready for kids to be able to brush their own teeth, to travel to a grocery store without having to spank your kids in front of total strangers because they are having a melt down for M&Ms but their dentist has already given you a guilt trip about a stain on a back tooth. At this point, humiliation in front of strangers is a fair trade off for having a great dental check up.

These are the days of parenting. It's exhausting and mentally straining. Most days I wish I could walk through my hallway without stepping on a toy and shouting out profanity as I look for the culprit that left Legos all over the floor. Yes, all of this and more are daily routines for parents. It's what we signed up for and it never lets you down. Just when you think your kids have finally learned the meaning of being a good sister, one runs in screaming because they were just hit in the head with a cup by the other. You sigh, you laugh a little, and you think, Lord, are these really my kids?

I had a professor in college whose wife had recently had a baby. And one day, during his lecture he stopped and said that he just needed to share with us the truth of parenthood. Obviously none of us or not many had children at this time. He then went on to say something I will never forget," Having a child is like having your heart leap from your chest then go for a walk in the world." I always thought his words were beautiful but never fully understood their depth until I went though this journey myself. This is exactly what it feels like.

I have learned through trials and tribulations that the best way to keep your sanity and smile through it all is surprises. I love to surprise my kids. I do this so often that when I pick them up from school, they will ask me, in front of judging adults, "Mom, do you have a surprise for us?" I know you think I spoil my kids. But I do not. You are not in my house each day and you don't know our family. What you don't know is that my kids have to keep their rooms clean. They clean them almost everyday and they are punished when they don't clean up. They are learning about life through conversations about stereotyping, friendship and bullies. I explain to them when mommy makes a mistake and how its okay when they make one too.

Their childhood is fleeting.

Each day they are a little older then they were yesterday and I only have so many days, minutes and seconds to prepare them for life and help them believe in magic. The timer started the day they were born. I want them to be strong and independent and not too scared to have a little fun. Reality isn't sweet or kind or forgiving and they have begun learning the rules of life and will continue to do so. So for now, I want to add that magic and spark that will all too soon be gone.

So yes, I do surprise my kids a lot.

I pick them up from school and when I hear that phrase that make me scrunch my face and curl my toes a bit out of the judgment of others and I remember that these days won't last forever.

"Yes, baby," I respond. " I've got your favorite slushes in the car!"

"Yes, sweet girls, I went to the store and picked you each up a new pair of PJs'!"

"Yes my angles, tomorrow is going to be a mommy-daughter day."

They light up in a way that reminds me how much I used to love surprises as a child. They have plenty of time later in life to be dwindled down by the day in and day out. If I can add a little magic and excitement to their childhood today then I will do that. I will lay on the driveway and let them outline my body in chalk then color it in pink because that is their favorite color right now. I will take old planters and turn them into fairy houses to place in the back yard so our fairies in the trees can have a place to live. I will have pancake night and movie night. I will let them play dress up on me and brush my hair because one day they won't be so willing to give me so much of their time. One day they won't say, "Mommy, do you have a surprise for me?" One day they won't ask, "Mommy, will you lay in bed with me?"

One day they will live miles away in some place like Ohio and care about school, and work and vacations with their girlfriends. One day, I won't be woken up at 3am because a little monkey wants to just snuggle and kick me for 3 more hours. One day will happen faster than my heart is prepared for. And one day Jeff and I will finally have time for Paris and Hawaii and late Saturday mornings, but we'll probably just retire in Ohio. Who needs Hawaii anyway?

juice, the other white meat.

So one night my husband and I couldn't' find anything on TV. So we searched Netflix and after a few minutes of bantering back and forth, we found Fat Sick and nearly dead. This changed the entire way we look at food. We knew we had to do something and were motivated to start our new year with a new attitude about eating. I am southern and Baptist and we have a saying down here that Baptist eat first then pray second. Food is our religion. We love it. I love it. And the thought of giving it all up and changing how I eat has been terrifying for years. When I became pregnant for the first time, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I was sent to a nutritionist and put on a special diet. I was miserable! I cheated, a lot and really got a glimpse into what it must be like for someone with a diet or food issue. It's really hard! And even during that time I knew I needed to change my eating habits. But I kept on and kept on pursuing bad habits. I have always been skinny so I never really had to diet. But being skinny isn't the same as being healthy. In fact when I decided to begin this challenge people actually said to me, "Why are you going on a juice fast, you're skinny."

For me, this wasn't about losing weight but about FEELING better! How many days do we drag around wishing we were still in bed? We wake up achy and tired and go to bed achy and tired. This isn't normal! STOP thinking this is normal and you are just getting old. Remember the old saying, "You are what you eat!" And I am sick of being a greasy cheeseburger!

So...Here was my week!

Day 1: I'm starving! Seriously, I poured out a can of spaghetti O's for my daughters and I wanted to lick the can! I also can't sit around thinking about it so I have cleaned out bedrooms, picked up toys and cleaned toilets. Today I want a buffalo chicken sandwich with fries. Jeff isn't doing too well. He's been chocking down the juice and sleeping. He wants to murder me.

Day 2: Last night Jeff and I discussed how much we relate eating to our emotions. Today is our first day back to work after the winter break and we were both already feeling the stress. It was SO hard to not order a pizza last night, but we didn't and life goes on! I didn't feel hungry when I woke up and I didn't sleep well last night either. I have heard insomnia can be a side effect. I had an apple juice today and it was amazing. I am never buying store bought again!

Day 3- I feel terrible, headache and exhaustion. Jeff and I both are having a hard time trying to remember why we did this. I want fajitas! I have to keep reminding myself that once this is over it will be so much easier to move into a plant based diet. I can do this. I can do this! Only 2 more days!

Day 4: I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I had a headache, body aches and just felt terrible. I juiced and suffered through the morning then took a nap during my lunch break. After my nap, I felt a lot better. I am waiting for this 'amazing' feeling to kick in! Today I want sushi so maybe that's a good sign. You will also urinate a ton during this. Which I hate because I hate getting out of bed at night! But I'm hanging in there. I keep thinking, I need to be healthy and while my children are still young (3 and 4) I need to get them on the healthy train!

Day 5: Today I don't feel so bad. I woke up in the middle of the night (to pee) and I felt awesome. I was tired but I felt good, like younger. I remember what it felt like to not be exhausted all the time and achy and just give out. I remember that feeling and for just about 10 seconds in the middle of the night, I felt it! This is our last day so I had my hot water/lemon first then my breakfast juice. Around 1pm I caved and ate a spoonful of peanut butter, which I normally hate. Like, I really hate peanut butter unless its in chocolate. My husband has stuck his finger in it before then smeared it on my face because I hate it that much. And after 4 days of nothing but juice, it was the most amazing bite of my life. My taste buds have changed if I can eat this. No idea why this is what my body is telling me to eat but it was really good and after a few more spoonfuls, directly out of the jar, I was good and made another juice! My husband and I went on a date this night to celebrate and we couldn't eat much! To-go boxes were stuffed! But it was really amazing!

Movies to watch during your juicing week-

Fat, sick and nearly dead

Fat, sick and nearly dead 2

And if you are really brave-Vegucated and Food Inc

Things I learned this week- I really tie my emotions to food and I never knew that. I have this instinctive craving and hunger during stressful periods and the late afternoon. Each day around 2:30 I just crash. This is normally the time I would reach for a snack- chips, candy, soda, etc.
Food is everywhere! And we live in a society that constantly throws it in your face. You don't realize it each day, its just your normalcy. But once you go on a fast, you realize so many things about the food industry that is so messed up!
About every 3rd commercial is food based and its food that isn't good for you. Why can't we have commercials that show how sexy carrots are?
I can smell things I never smelled before. The girls were eating Ritz crackers and I could smell them, from like the other side of the room.
I never knew my body could do this. Each day I wake up surprised that I am not dead.
I can't remember conversations or where I placed things. I have to really re-trace my steps and think. That is really scary to me that cleansing my body is affecting my brain this much (in a good way)!
I am becoming much calmer and patient with everyone. Either I am a really impatient person and this is helping, or having all that junk in my body was causing stress and anxiety in my life. Weird.
Your body tells you what it needs if you just listen. I have never listened to my body before, but I knew when I wanted water, when I wanted a nap and when I wanted peanut butter!
My husband and I are both really reliant on caffeine. We are coffee and coke people and we really feel that this helped us be able to do without those things now.
We both had more energy in the evening this week. We didn't binge on the couch as much and actually spent time with our kids, reading books, playing, talking, etc.

I am also really lucky in the fact that I have a partner that totally support this crazy idea. I know many people out there don't and I am so very thankful. I wouldn't be able to do this if everyone around me were eating cheeseburgers. You really need to have a support system in place to complete a juicing fast. Which brings me to my next point, kids. I have 2 and they still need to eat. That was difficult during this week. I still made grilled cheeses, chicken soup and waffles. I didn't try a bite, I just made food and served food and tried not to think. It was hard at first but got easier. And by the end of the week, I felt terrible that I was drinking healthy juice and my kids were scarfing down processed junk..but that is another show.

Update- I still drink juice daily. I really like it. I feel better and healthier. I also grocery shopped for lots of fruits and veggies and got the girls to eat their first soy dog! YAY me! I haven't had caffeine or much sugar. I haven't eaten meat since Friday Jan, 2. I don't miss any of these things. It feels really good to put really good food into your body. I knew going into this that my ultimate goal was to eat better and that taking these extreme measures was probably my last hope. I feel better, lost about 3 pounds (Jeff lost 7) and know I will have days where I slip and eat candy but I think the ultimate goal of living a better life will always come out on top!