We survived! I sent my first born into the clenches of school and she came out fine. I however, did not. I complained. I whined. I didn't like anything. Before it ever started I hated it. I cried in my kitchen, I cried in my bathroom, I cried when I dropped her off the first day. Then after these longs 9 months had passed I realized in June that all I really needed to know about parenting I learned in Kindergarten.
1. Share everything. Even your children. Share them with their teachers, other children and even school admin and librarians and art teachers. Share them so other people get to enjoy the person you have put forth so much effort and raised in such a way that these people, these professionals that studied education get to tell you, "Good job" and get to love your kids as you do.
2. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. I had these a lot this past year. On days when Mattie came home and told me she didn't eat lunch because it was gross but I was too busy that morning to pack her lunch so it was my fault I had a starving 5 year old at 3pm. Also nachos with lots of processed cheese and jalapeños are good for you as well as wine, beer and tequila. They are all good for you in large quantities during Kindergarten year!
3. Live a balanced life - learn some and drink some and draw some and paint some and sing and dance and play and work everyday some. Everything is good in balance. Some days she came home beaming about how awesome her day was and some days no one noticed her art work or she was kicked. Try not to focus on all the bad. The bad is going to happen. Focus on what was really good during kindergarten and forget what didn't go the way you had planned for your child, trust me they never notice the bad. And you get to teach them how to deal when the bad does come along. Everyday will not be perfect and you are going to have to deal with that.
4. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why. You have a front row seat to the growth of your child and if you are lucky you had teachers that supported and loved that growth and told you over and over and over. THAT is what makes it okay in the end. THAT is how you will survive.
5. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK." Look at the child you have today, after Kindergarten has completed. Look at how they have grown and developed and be sure to not only look but to listen. Listen to their thoughts and desires because most likely they know more about what they want then you do. You will start to see a real live person, not your baby. A person with ideas and thoughts and opinions and if you are lucky they share or sometimes scream their opinions and you as their parent should be so proud of the growth you have SEEN.
This year Mattie came home and told me of stories that she helped kids in her class. She told me of compliments she received and awards that were coming. She celebrated best friends and reading accomplishments and she developed a bond with her teacher that is unlike her bond with me. And that is okay. She doesn't need me to shelter her and protect her or save her. She is doing just fine on her own and that is all we really want as parents. So that one day, one day when we are not there to hold her hand or stop her from walking in front of a car she will know what to do, instantly. She will just know because she has been given the tools to succeed and sometimes those tools come from her mom and dad and sometimes they don't and its the don't that made Kindergarten so incredibly special.
Here is to hoping your don'ts go as good as mine did and that in June at the end of your special butterfly's Kindergarten year you too will embrace all that has been learned, not by your child, but by you the parent and that letting go is hard and holding on is impossible but all you really needed to know about parenting you learned in Kindergarten!
*Citation: Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
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