And I often ask at what point did enough stop being enough?
And you know the thing about feeling like its enough is simple- self acceptance. I'm not trying to convince you that the way I live my life is the way you should or even that you have to accept me. Because here is the truth- I accept me. And when people accept themselves its easy to ignore what society tells you should be or how you should live. And its even easier when you accept yourself to NOT get so caught up on how people will judge you, like you or not like you.
So I don't have an acceptance agenda to cram down your throat.
But what I do want you to know is that when enough becomes your enough, it's okay.
I don't want to run a company. I don't. I don't care if I get to buy expensive purses or drive a fancy car or have people in a corporate world admire me. I just want to make you a sweet potato casserole.
I want to have a surprise cupcake waiting for my kids after their first day of school. I want to clean my floors and buy candles. I want to put together trick or treat bags and create holiday wreaths. I want to be the CEO of my family.
One of the most influential people in my life was my grandmother. She didn't make a ton of money, write novels or invent anything. She was never admired for her collections of jewelry or her large home. She worked a few different jobs to help support her family and she never had a driver's license yet she was admired by me and almost every one who met her. She was admired for her sense of personal ownership that she took to ensure the care for her family was done by her. She always wanted to feed you. Her house smelled of cinnamon and cabbage. Of spaghetti and casseroles baking in her wall oven. And her home, well it was spotless. She read scriptures aloud and prayed. She took great pride in her home and in her cooking and in her caring for those she most cared about.
My grandfather had a stroke early in life and it prevented his mobility, it affected his speech and at times it made him angry. She loved and she cared and she cleaned and she loved some more. She closed her eyes when she laughed and she kept dirty dish rags hanging from her shoulder. She not only accepted her life as mother, wife, grandmother, sister and friend, she loved it. She watched you eat and waited for you to tell her it was good. She asked what your "order" was as soon as you entered her home then she spent the next 45 minutes completing it and serving it and cleaning up afterwards.
If we were happy, she was happy. Enough was enough.
The greatest thing that came from feminism is that whatever life a woman chooses to live is her choice. I get to cook for my family and make cookies on nights when our favorite show is on. I decorate Christmas trees and would be mortified if you saw under my couch (which probably needs to be cleaned again) I like the smell of Tide on my kids clothes and the feel of my husbands ties as I lay them across the bed. I want my kids to grow up and know that their mom's life was enough. It was more than enough.
Do I complain about my workload, having to balance life and work and kids? Sure, of course I do. But the truth is even in those complaints, I wouldn't change anything. THIS life. THIS balance of being a mom and wife a daughter and sister a friend and teacher- THIS is enough.
So the next time you come to my house and you notice the fresh cut flowers on the table or you ask for my cookie recipe please know that to me, its like you offered me a promotion. It's the single best gift I can be given to know that you think I melted the marshmallows just right on the sweet potato casserole and that my kids were the best behaved at the slumber party. Those things, those simple every day words are a direct result of me living a life I only once dreamed about while sitting in my grandmother's kitchen watching her make chicken and dumplings and thinking about how she was more than enough.
Granny's PB chocolate no bake cookies
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup milk
1 stick (8 tablespoons) butter
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
1 cup smooth peanut butter
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
Bring the sugar, milk, butter and cocoa to a boil in a medium saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally, then let boil for 1 minute. Remove from the heat. Add the oats, peanut butter, vanilla and salt, and stir to combineDrop teaspoonfuls of the mixture onto the prepared baking sheet, and let sit at room temperature until cooled and hardened, about 30 minutes.
